Tuesday, December 22, 2009
vivo city
i went to vivo city today w aunti n tammy today...
we have no place in mind n idk why i wld say vivo city...
idk wats wrong w me...
i knw she no longer wrk wrk harbour front but i still wana go n see..
mayb i dun trust others but myself...
yup.. she no longer wrk there n it TRUE!!!
went there, all my momories justt flash back..
how i used to bring her to wrk...
how i used to buy her lunch...
how i used to ask her out for smoke..
how i used to peep at her...
how i used to fetch her..
how i used to wait over at her wrk place...
how i used to enjoy yr company..
how we used to eat ben n jerry...
how we used to enjoy e nite scene...
how we used to watch movie...
so many used to...
irony n funny...
part of my heart is aching whn she is no longer mine...
on e surface, am damn fine n damn accepting...
in fact am not...
i miss u..
i damn miss u...
i shall just let tis memories stay inside deep under my tots n my heart...
i still wish u r happy now...
Posted by dooblie at 1:38 AM
Sunday, September 27, 2009
another nite
just any other nite tht i lost my slp again...
i start to wonder whether isit i dun wana slp or i cant slp...
so many things on my mind...
i know i shouldnt tink so much...
i know i shouldnt....
i wish i could run away...
hide away...
nth is allowing me to run or hide...
i hate it whn i feel sucky whn am suppose to work...
i hate it...
something is very wrong with me...
i wana find out wat is it...
or mayb i know but duno how to change it...
i dont wana think...
i decided to hide and run...
Posted by dooblie at 4:30 AM
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
random tots
its been mths since i last wrote in my blog...
duno why tonite i will have the mood to write here...
mayb just feel tht long time never write and i must write...
fra broke with jo...
jo is sad and it affects me too...
idk wat can i do or wat can i say...
dun wish to see my best fren so sad and depressed...
so many tots tht i have but once i wanted to start typing my tots in here, i just lost it...
recently i keep hearing ppl tell me tht if am a guy, they will sure be with me...
which cause alot unhappiness or ??? in my mind..
i mean what the hack...
if am a guy , i dun think i will like tis...
if u r not married, i dun think i would have met u...
so many if...
if i know....
i would fall in love with u again...
IF...
what a huge word...
i dun wish to be a guy..
i love being girl...
if am not a guy thn why cant u be with me?
i know its hard to not care abt how others look at u...
mayb yr liking towards me, is plainly just not strong enuf...
to others finding a girl tht they like and settle down with, seems so easy...
but why oh why...
all these just dont happen to me?
why all would tell me they rather be my fren so tht they will not lose me?
why am i always just gd enuf to be fren?
so many tots...
so many unhappiness...
so many qns...
but none tht i can digest...
whn i decided not to love anymore, someone will come in..
whn i start to fall all over again, its gone...
things cant be forced...
i totally und tht..
but i just dun wana accept tht...
force...
anybody force u to leave me?
NO....
U CHOSE to leave me...
what happen to me?
FORCED not to think abt u...
FORCED not to love u...
FORCED not to miss u...
FORCED not to contact u...
FORCED to forget u...
FORCED to let u go...
FORCED to keep telling myself tht u happy can le...
what abt me??
have anyone ever give a tot abt me?
whether am i happy with the desicion?
whether am i willing to let go??
whether am i rdy to leave?
whether am i hurt anot?
nobody care...
maybe they feel tht am always happy go lucky so i can handle it..
maybe i keep giving them a feeling tht am not tht in love...
they r ALL WRONG...
am damn in love...
am damn pain...
am damn unwilling to let u go...
am damn unhappy tht u chose to leave...
am damn angry tht am NOT a guy...
am damn pissed tht u feel tht i cant give u a future...
Posted by dooblie at 4:06 AM
Friday, July 3, 2009
drinking again outta job again
YES... nth new...
am outta job again...
suay la.. these few yrs...
tml go pray..
hopefully my dear fren can wake up in time...
if not i will go on my own..
lol...
drinking tml with my ex boss...
hohoho... feel like getting drunk again...
what jo says is correct...
yao kan kai...
kan kai ren ye hui kai xin yi dian...
drink this weekend...
mon go interview...
start afresh start anew...
i can do it and i will do it...
jo ah... ty again...
hopefully sat can go yr hse drink again...
tis time round i wont siam le...
drink ahhhh...
drink drank drunk session again..
i think and i know i will be drunk...
cos of certain reason...
yes la... i admit...
WO HAI FANG BU XIA...
duno when duno how but i know i will fang xia...
somehow someday...
wish me luck...
Posted by dooblie at 4:02 AM
Monday, June 15, 2009
went pubbing
for such long time i didnt enjoy myself oreadi...
finally... thou i cldnt drink much tht nite, it was FUN!!!
had so much laughters and fun...
usual la.. got crappy jo, crazy penny and all the fun loving ppl...
conclusion all freaking high and drunk expect me... :(
cos ive got wrk the next day so must control...
but seeing them enjoying themselves, am happy too... :)
next mth shall organize again...
organizer hoh... pls make another gathering next mth...
all the jobs will leave to u...
LOL...
we go le bar...
penny says the martell there cheaper...
lol... yes... am a CHEAPO...
DRINK DRANK DRUNK !!!! :P
Posted by dooblie at 3:29 AM
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
lei le
wo xiang wo shi zhen de lei le...
i duno and dun und why would i keep thinkin abt u...
funny thing is tht whn i think abt u, i dun feel sad..
actually i feel happy... mayb cos the memories we once shared is all so happy...
i actually wanted to sms u but i just cant bring myself to do so...
am so emotionally unstable and insecure which cause me losing my fren ard me...
am sry to lose my temper on u again...
i know am giving u fucking attitude...
its not tht i dun give a damn abt u and our frenship...
actually i did talk to jo abt this...
jo say me and what she says is correct..
i expect too much...
i give a tot abt it...
i know is my attitude...
i wont dare to ask for our frenship back again...
cos i duno when i will go crazy again and hurt u again..
so its better to leave things this way now...
somehow i duno how to break the silence and ask u to forgive me again..
pls do trust me tht hurting u is the last thing i wan..
but i just duno why somehow or rather, i always ended up causing pain in yr life...
am learning and i hope i can understand...
jo ah.. thank u wor...
thanx for being so frank and str forward towards me so i und and learn...
sry to those tht ive hurted b4..
sry.. most of the time whn i speak, it dont filter by my brain..
i reallie dont mean it if ive made anybody pissed or angry with me..
lastly... take care my fren and am reallie sorry...
Posted by dooblie at 6:20 AM
Sunday, May 17, 2009
is it just me
isit just me or everybody is the same?
everytime late at nite, w/o fail i will tink of u...
thinkin of u, i will lit up a cig...
and everytime i will tell myself tht after smokin tis cig, i will stop tinkin of u..
but i just cant stop smokin likewise, i cant stop tinkin of u...
i guess and i reallie hope tht u have a gd life now...
i hate myself...
why everytime whn am drunk, i will sms u..
it makes me seems tht am so weak and shallow...
but its oki anyway... guess my sms doesnt affect u and i will never cya again...
i wish to put our story to an end but i cant seems to do so...
i always believe tht its not the length of time tht we have been tgt..
its the amt of love and efforts tht ive put inside...
yes... indeed u have hurt me alot but i have never once hate u...
i wish i could turn back time..
am not greedy...
i just need 1 day...
1 day to hao hao ai ni and i will leave...
thts a dream...
a dream tht will never come true...
i should go slp and stop all my nonsense...
=)
Posted by dooblie at 12:48 AM
