Sunday, September 27, 2009
another nite
just any other nite tht i lost my slp again...
i start to wonder whether isit i dun wana slp or i cant slp...
so many things on my mind...
i know i shouldnt tink so much...
i know i shouldnt....
i wish i could run away...
hide away...
nth is allowing me to run or hide...
i hate it whn i feel sucky whn am suppose to work...
i hate it...
something is very wrong with me...
i wana find out wat is it...
or mayb i know but duno how to change it...
i dont wana think...
i decided to hide and run...
Posted by dooblie at 4:30 AM
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
random tots
its been mths since i last wrote in my blog...
duno why tonite i will have the mood to write here...
mayb just feel tht long time never write and i must write...
fra broke with jo...
jo is sad and it affects me too...
idk wat can i do or wat can i say...
dun wish to see my best fren so sad and depressed...
so many tots tht i have but once i wanted to start typing my tots in here, i just lost it...
recently i keep hearing ppl tell me tht if am a guy, they will sure be with me...
which cause alot unhappiness or ??? in my mind..
i mean what the hack...
if am a guy , i dun think i will like tis...
if u r not married, i dun think i would have met u...
so many if...
if i know....
i would fall in love with u again...
IF...
what a huge word...
i dun wish to be a guy..
i love being girl...
if am not a guy thn why cant u be with me?
i know its hard to not care abt how others look at u...
mayb yr liking towards me, is plainly just not strong enuf...
to others finding a girl tht they like and settle down with, seems so easy...
but why oh why...
all these just dont happen to me?
why all would tell me they rather be my fren so tht they will not lose me?
why am i always just gd enuf to be fren?
so many tots...
so many unhappiness...
so many qns...
but none tht i can digest...
whn i decided not to love anymore, someone will come in..
whn i start to fall all over again, its gone...
things cant be forced...
i totally und tht..
but i just dun wana accept tht...
force...
anybody force u to leave me?
NO....
U CHOSE to leave me...
what happen to me?
FORCED not to think abt u...
FORCED not to love u...
FORCED not to miss u...
FORCED not to contact u...
FORCED to forget u...
FORCED to let u go...
FORCED to keep telling myself tht u happy can le...
what abt me??
have anyone ever give a tot abt me?
whether am i happy with the desicion?
whether am i willing to let go??
whether am i rdy to leave?
whether am i hurt anot?
nobody care...
maybe they feel tht am always happy go lucky so i can handle it..
maybe i keep giving them a feeling tht am not tht in love...
they r ALL WRONG...
am damn in love...
am damn pain...
am damn unwilling to let u go...
am damn unhappy tht u chose to leave...
am damn angry tht am NOT a guy...
am damn pissed tht u feel tht i cant give u a future...
Posted by dooblie at 4:06 AM
