Tuesday, December 25, 2007
hate
i hate it...
had argument w gwen yest...
n i noe aunti will side her..
suppose to go out w em today but dun tink will go le...
i said tt i dun wana go for steam boat, they oso dun care...
mayb am reallie insecure...
towards anybody...
am juz v scare..
yest nite msg u cos i reallie wish to hear ur voice...
i wish to tt u tt am scare....
am insecure...
i hate it alot whn aunti side gwen cos she's her sis...
not cos its e rite thing...
my emo is so unstable...
i need sumone to guide me along....
but i tink i cant find any...
i heard a song...
called soulmate...
ive deep feeling abt tis song...
its so me...
guess mayb am reallie tired...
my job is unstable...
i wish tt u can b there for me...
i hope my life can end...
Posted by dooblie at 1:44 AM
Saturday, December 22, 2007
happy or not happy
sld i b happy anot....
dint expect u will b online on late...
finally got a chance to tok to u for awhile...
but u dun seen to b bother abt my life now...
hav u forgotten our past?
am happy cos whn i ask u r u jewblie, u stil rem tis name...
our name....
jewblie n dooblie....
mayb u r reallie too bz w ur life ba...
so no time to find me...
true oso la...
uve got ur family, ur wrk n ur bf...
unlike me...
go where will oso tink abt u...
xmas eve comin lol....
cant image tt am stil over here trying to get over u...
hahaha....
stupid rite???
uve oreadi gone so far far away...
i told aunti tt ive viewed a profile on fridae...
tt ger is oso a leo lik eu...
after 6 yrs, she ended up being w her buddy...
suddenly it strikes me...
mayb i do stil stand a chance...
mayb one fine day u will b touched by my sincerity n b w me...
at least by thn u will b secure n noe tt am not a flirt....
thn guess wat...
aunti laugh at me...
ask me y i so stupid...
hahhaha...
i oso duno how to reply her...
am juz hopin tt mircale will happen one day...
i duno wat i wish for will come true anot but at least i noe tt i neva once regret waiting for u...
at least am being true to my heart tt yes...
i wana wait for u....
i told u b4 tt i wana wait for u...
but i doubt tt u will believe me...
nvm la...
sinceruty muz show wan...
if one day we got a chance to b tgt...
i will...
i will treasure every moment tt we hav n once shared...
even if one day we r tgt n might not lasts as i wish for...
but e onli promise tt i can give u is tt i will try my every best to make u e happiest ger on earth whn u r w me....
seeing u smile n knowing tt u r happy, is everything to me....
hope ba...
hope makes me stay on...
or isit my love for u tt makes me hang on...
i oso duno...
tink i shall go get so rest le...
tml is a bz day for me...
i miz u...
Posted by dooblie at 2:21 AM
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
xmas
xmas eve comin soon...
1st yr w/o u...
will juz celebrating w aunti they all quietly...
recently i realized tt am weird...
duno since whn i start to feel tt am sick...
i hav problem....
after u...
whn theres gers who like me, i wun like em or wana try but once i noe sumone else interested in em or tt they like other ppl thn i will go after em...
am tinkin tt am such a JERK....
its not e rite way...
i duno who i reallie like le...
mayb cos i always conceal how i reallie feel ba...
last yr u were w ur family n am at 62...
even thou club n drink i stil miz u...
tis yr w/o...
i duno how i will pass thru...
but i noe i will...
like many other occasions...
i tink foru...
u will b out njoying urself w him...
for me...
i will try to njoy out w em...
i miz u lah...
trying to get used of my everyday life w/o...
luckily u wun get to noe abt tis blog...
if not, u sure tink tt am a sicko...
onli date for barely 6 mth n am so into u le...
hahhahaa....
to me...
its not e length of time...
its e amt of love tt ive put in...
guess i can say , ive reallie put in alot...
much more thn ive expected...
so much moments tt weve once shared...
i reallie duno how to cast those away...
mayb time will reallie ease everything ba...
slowly lol...
i will c wat time do...
oki la...
hope u njoy ur xmas n b happy w ur every day life...
Posted by dooblie at 3:08 AM
Saturday, December 15, 2007
herstory
yest nite went herstory...
wondering whther will i tink of u...
yes i did..
not juz once, a few time but is thousand of time tt u appear in my mind....
i bought tt ger along...
hopin to give myself a chance to move on or can i say tt to c whether i can move on anot...
PROVEN...
i cant...
not i dun wan to but i cant...
i felt so surpressed whn am out w her...
image of u keep flashing in my mind...
places we went, moments tt we've shared...
esp in herstory...
i reallie, strong wish tt u were there w me n not her...
she hav to leave early...
after she left, i felt so happy...
loosen up n can b myself...
i miz u alot...
i didnt get myself drunk cos am afraid tt i drink le i wll cal or sms u...
i dun wan tis to happen...
i wana learn to b strong...
stronger in my mentality....
i dance alot...
whn am dancin, i wish u were there to dance w me...
n i noe... having u is having e world...
we might b far apart...
u r bz n so am i...
but my heart is always there...
always beside u...
i so wish tt i can drop everything n juz walk up in front of u n tell u tt i love u...
dun leave me...
but i cant...
i cant b selfish...
u r happy now...
i cant juz go ahead n do watever i like or watever i please...
i hav to put u in e 1st place...
yest am so pissed w her...
i do things is not cos i feel like doin it to her but a muz..
cos she will b angry...
its juz so diff lol..
whn am w u, i do everything oso cos i feel like...
i wana make u happy...
seeing u smile, is e greatest thing tt ever happen to me...
wriiting now, suddenly i hav tis tot...
i long time neva cry le...
ive always hid tt my heart doesnt ache whn u leave...
but in fact my heart is oreadi gone...
e very day tt u choce to leave me...
ive given my heart to u...
yest my ex zouk colleague asked me...
is tt ger my gf... i str8 away say no...
thn i show her ur pic..
told her tt i still miz u n i onli like u...
sumtime i reallie wish tt ican b more daring...
mayb like tt thn u wun leave me le...
i no need everytime drunk le thn dare to tell u or show u tt i care for u n tell u tt i love u...
everytime look at u or look into ur eyes...
my mind goes empty...
my mouth go speechless...
i reallie wish to tell u tt i love u...
but it juz cant come out...
onli tt time thn i und...
y ppl say whn u reallie love tt person thn its hard to say i love u or i like u...
cos am so mesmerise by u tt i reallie lost...
juz now tok to u over at msn...
knowing tt u r fine, am glad...
am still staying ard here...
not cos am waiting for u n wan u to come back to me but cos i wana noe tt u r fine...
rem.. i promise u b4...
i will always b there for u...
yes...
i wish to stay on... to b ur angel...
i reallie feel like sryin...
but no tears come out..
isit bcos as a person grow older, e lesser tears she has or my heartache is oreadi far more thn juz a ache le...
mayb its oreadi shattered into million or billon of pieces le....
i cant mend em up til e extend tt i can feel e pain le...
if one day i was given a chance...
i will stand in front of e whole wide world n shout out loud tt i lve u...
let em noe tt am happy loving u....
Posted by dooblie at 1:49 AM
Thursday, December 13, 2007
juz another nite
its juz any other nite tt am mizing u again...
luckily saw jovina juz now so got excuse to cal u n hear ur voice...
n yes... i miz ur voice so much...
lata gog herstory le...
aunti bday...
reallie wish tt u can b there...
i reallie cant contain myself anymore...
am mizing u more n more day by day...
duno how lata will turn out...
i noe i will b mizing u n tinkin of tt time we went herstory...
but tt ger will b gog w me...
alot of my frenz will b there too..
but i noe...
inside n deep down inside my heart, e person tt i reallie wish to b there is U....
no one else but u...
i noe its unfair to her...
but i reallie cant forget u...
its getting late le...
i sld slp n prepare to hav energy for lata..
but i cant slp...
too many things in my mind le...
no one und...
all keep askin me to move on...
i noe if i tell u, u will tell me to move on too...
tts y i neva ask u...
cos i dun wish to hear fr u to tel me to move on...
i will b sad... real sad....
my heart is telling me not to listen to em...
u r who i wan...
i noe deep down inside my heart....
i shall juz play by ear n c wat happen tml...
dun wana tink le...
headache....
i miz u so much....
Posted by dooblie at 3:41 AM
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
so long
its been quite awhile since i last write in here...
saw u online so late...
tot can tok to u but b4 i can suggest to u, u offline le...
guess no fate...
recently theres sumone new in my life...
autie they all keep askin me to go ahead...
but nobody can und wat i reallie wan...
i stil cannot forget u...
i dun wish to b unfair to anybody...
i did try to move on....
try to go o out w her n tok to her...
but whnever i tok to her, ur image keep floatin into my mind...
like i go out w auntie they all, its e same thing..
i will keep rem abt last time how happy were we...
e things tt we hav done n e places tt we hav been to...
i miz u so much n so badly...
but i didnt msg u os cal u cos i didnt wana disturb ur life...
its not cos i dun love u anymore but ive learnt...
loving u is to let u b happy...
hav all e happiness...
at least now i noe if u hav any prob, u can always come to me n i will always b there for u...
i told auntie they tt i dun wish to b w tt ger but they dun und...
everytime i mention abt u, they juz say i sld forget abt u...
but its reallie not tt easy...
not as simple as 123....
i duno how long more i need o take to forget u....
alot of time, i wish to ask u out but am juz afraid...
afraid tt once i c u, e harder it is for me to let u go...
i reallie hope tt by writting all these out, can at least help me ease abit...
u neva once trust tt am ture to u, i didnt noe how to show u too...
but as long as i noe...
am stil here...
stil here waiting for u...
Posted by dooblie at 1:11 AM
