Friday, December 26, 2008
Merry xmas
so happy to hav her ard...
spending my xmas eve w her..
part one...
mit her n shan shan for dina at mac..
as usual shan shan onli eat corn...
so we hav to finish her burger for her...
after tt send shan shan home...
part two...
sit at chinatown mac (again) n wait lookin for place to go..
after much discussion...
she finally decided...
go DRAGONFLY!!!!
whahahha... i havent been there like more than a yr..
finally reach df n my fren last min change venue..
cos df id damn packed...
waiting for his fren to fetch u ( so late )
stil tot we gonna countdown in e car...
but we didnt..
we reached babyface juz in time...
but poor jason..
countdown in another car...
we drink alot n as usual...
am drunk ( nth new )
she is drunk too...
so happy...
1stly cos i noe she reallie happy tt we can go babyface...
2ndly i noe she reallie njoyed herself..
3rdly she is reallie happy...
4thly its e 1st xmas tt we celebrated tgt...
lastly cos something happen at babyface...
sent her home n she is late for wrk today...
am so having hang over lol...
lets tok abt today now...
after wrk, i went to mit her...
thn we go eat steamboat w her frenz...
guess am gona slp soon...
cos reallie damn tired...
Posted by dooblie at 2:44 AM
Monday, December 22, 2008
Wow WoW....
so long neva blog le...
1stly cos tired of typing...
2ndly hav been bz...
gog out w her n gog out w her...
we hav so much improvement recently...
am happy, everytime i c her smile...
but i kinda screw things up a little..
cos tt nite i showed her attitude n so she show me back her "attitude"..
but tt was fine...
i hope she will not b angry w me soon..
recently she is in bad mood...
partly cos of me...
partly cos her stupid manager...
partly her personal reason...
i hope she will b fine soon...
at least smile back..
so miz her...
hope she will feel beta soon n agree to mit me...
Posted by dooblie at 12:06 AM
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Met Her today
met up w her today...
cos need to bring her fren for tattoo...
we r like stranger...
at least i noe tt she treats me as one...
at e v moment on time, i noe e ans le..
am nth much in her eyes but juz a passer by...
while aunti in e toilet, i asked her fren how is she recently...
he told me, she is stil e same...
meaning... in another word, i dun mean a thing to her...
even if i stay or leave, it juz dun make any diff...
she recieved a call n she went outta tattoo shop n tok...
i guess she has found someone new le..
gd la.. at least she will b happy...
am sure she will b happier w tt person, tts y she left me...
she got e bear ( no reaction )
she read e card ( no reaction )
its time for me to wake up fr my dream le...
thou its hurting inside...
mayb is my retribution ba...
anyway...
Thanx aunti...
for acc ing me to mit her...
Thanx twinnie....
for ur advice...
Thanx jewblie...
for ur time, care n concern..
for acc ing me to slp over e fone yest nite...
Posted by dooblie at 11:53 PM
Mitting her lata..
gonna mit her lata...
i duno is cos i gona mit her lata n i cant slp or bcos am so use of takin slpin pills to slp after she left...
my brain is wide awake n my eyes juz dun wana close...
am tryin hard to fall aslp but i juz cant...
i duno how to face her tml..
i duno how sld i react...
i duno how wld i feel after seein her..
all i noe n sure is tt tml will b e last time i will b seeing her...
e last time, am gona contact her...
its reallie for my own gd...
dun und y i always fall for str8 gers...
i tink am stupid...
i miz her badly..
but i didnt contact her...
so proud of myself on tt...
thou e urge is strong, i restrict myself fr doin tt...
cos i noe, in e end, i will juz b walkin ard in circles...
i sld juz take it as a beautiful dream n wake up fr it...
part of me, wana face her myself...
but part of me, noe tt i dun hav e courage to face her alone...
i need support but i duno...
shall play by ear..
mayb she will b happier w/o me...
i sld bless her cos she is old enuf to noe who is gd to her n wat she wan in her life...
no matter wat, i noe tt am not e one tt she wans in her life..
wrote a card for her...
tellin her how i feel...
its not bcos i wana save her back but juz to let her noe how i reallie feel...
even if one day, she come back, i wun wan le...
cos am scare, v afraid indeed...
i duno whether will i b wakin up in e morn n realize tt she is gone again...
so... to prevent myself fr gog in again, is to stop everything...
i will juz stay here n wish her all e best...
bless her in everything tt she do n wish tt she can find real happiness...
at least find happiness tt cldnt come fr me...
so ironic...
its so easy to fall in love but so hard to fall outta love....
mayb its time for me to learn e opp way...
so hard to fall in love n so easy to fall outta love...
tink i write alot tonite...
mayb cos i cant slp n juz wish to tok ba...
tink i need to grow up n learn to handle things myself...
havent been eating... (so funny, i neva once dun eat in my life)
its not cos i dun wana eat but i juz dun feel like eating...
it seems like eating is no longer impt to me...
my mind is juz so full of her til i dun tink abt other things le...
its been almost a week...
n i noe for sure is tt she will neva ever gonna take e 1st move to contact me...
so... meanin.... we will neva ever contact each other anymore...
e ache is massive til i duno how to deal w it...
but am glad in another way cos i noe...
things tt dun kill me, will make me stronger...
i can c myself growing n learning...
all tt happen r a gd lesson for me...
aunti, twinnie...
dun worry...
i reallie learnin to grow up le...
hope aunti will feel beta...
recently she got allergy again...
hopeshe will recover soon...
Posted by dooblie at 4:41 AM
Thursday, December 4, 2008
one nite of dream
happy for a nite, anybody wan it?
hopeful for a nite, anybody wana take it?
i took it...
n now am hurting like hell...
i noe it v well tt feelin cant b forced...
but y...
since u dun hav feelin for me thn y do u bother to wana try?
am not a fucking flirt...
i do reallie hav feelin for u...
i do reallie put alot of efforts for us to wrk out...
i do feel e pain wan....
but i will respect ur decision...
take care...
Posted by dooblie at 4:55 PM
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
I felt Blessed!!!
yest nite she came over my hse n slp...
so happy n thankful...
thankful to hav her by my side n knowing that she is giving in to me at times..
hugged her to slp in e morning..
e feeling....
IS GREAT !!!
havent felt so safe n comfortable for a long time...
she even allow me to hold her hand on e bus...
we had so much fun n laughters...
thou at times she might appear cold, i noe tt she treat me v gd..
thou she dun say it out but i noe tt she cares..
so happy to hav her by my side..
thank God...
hope we can last as long as possible... :)
Posted by dooblie at 5:54 PM
