Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Mitting her lata..
gonna mit her lata...
i duno is cos i gona mit her lata n i cant slp or bcos am so use of takin slpin pills to slp after she left...
my brain is wide awake n my eyes juz dun wana close...
am tryin hard to fall aslp but i juz cant...
i duno how to face her tml..
i duno how sld i react...
i duno how wld i feel after seein her..
all i noe n sure is tt tml will b e last time i will b seeing her...
e last time, am gona contact her...
its reallie for my own gd...
dun und y i always fall for str8 gers...
i tink am stupid...
i miz her badly..
but i didnt contact her...
so proud of myself on tt...
thou e urge is strong, i restrict myself fr doin tt...
cos i noe, in e end, i will juz b walkin ard in circles...
i sld juz take it as a beautiful dream n wake up fr it...
part of me, wana face her myself...
but part of me, noe tt i dun hav e courage to face her alone...
i need support but i duno...
shall play by ear..
mayb she will b happier w/o me...
i sld bless her cos she is old enuf to noe who is gd to her n wat she wan in her life...
no matter wat, i noe tt am not e one tt she wans in her life..
wrote a card for her...
tellin her how i feel...
its not bcos i wana save her back but juz to let her noe how i reallie feel...
even if one day, she come back, i wun wan le...
cos am scare, v afraid indeed...
i duno whether will i b wakin up in e morn n realize tt she is gone again...
so... to prevent myself fr gog in again, is to stop everything...
i will juz stay here n wish her all e best...
bless her in everything tt she do n wish tt she can find real happiness...
at least find happiness tt cldnt come fr me...
so ironic...
its so easy to fall in love but so hard to fall outta love....
mayb its time for me to learn e opp way...
so hard to fall in love n so easy to fall outta love...
tink i write alot tonite...
mayb cos i cant slp n juz wish to tok ba...
tink i need to grow up n learn to handle things myself...
havent been eating... (so funny, i neva once dun eat in my life)
its not cos i dun wana eat but i juz dun feel like eating...
it seems like eating is no longer impt to me...
my mind is juz so full of her til i dun tink abt other things le...
its been almost a week...
n i noe for sure is tt she will neva ever gonna take e 1st move to contact me...
so... meanin.... we will neva ever contact each other anymore...
e ache is massive til i duno how to deal w it...
but am glad in another way cos i noe...
things tt dun kill me, will make me stronger...
i can c myself growing n learning...
all tt happen r a gd lesson for me...
aunti, twinnie...
dun worry...
i reallie learnin to grow up le...
hope aunti will feel beta...
recently she got allergy again...
hopeshe will recover soon...
Posted by dooblie at 4:41 AM
